TIME TO INSPIRE
Rebuilding for Tomorrow - Boys Need Fathers
Did you know, that the definition of a father cannot only be limited to biological fathers, since individuals such as uncles, grandfathers, godfathers, male teachers and other male figures can also play a significant role as a father figures to children who grow up without biological fathers.
For the purpose of this article TTI's main focus is on absent fathers or father figures refer only to biological fathers who are absent through death, absent with occasional contact, absent with regular contact through a divorce and or separation or absent with no contact at all. We at TTI understand how difficult it can be to navigate through life's toughest phases and no one, most especially children, should ever have to face traumatic experience.
Many studies indicate that a child, especially a boy, needs his father’s love and care.
​
These studies argued that the father’s presence enhances children’s emotional well-being, whereas the absence of the father is often associated with emotional disturbances, including aggression and violent behaviours as well as poor social competence and academic problems.​
​
We at Time To Inspire (TTI) believe there is a need for awareness and we are here to offer you and your children the support you need during this challenging journey. We've got your back, guiding you through this transition with all the support, from legal advice to a shoulder to lean on, expertise, resources and a supportive community to help change the outlook and outcome for the better you.
We've got it covered !
​
We also recognise the importance of mental health and financial difficulties which can come after separation thus can have a devastating & destructive impact on both the child & parent. We're dedicated to championing mental health during one of life's toughest phases as we created a tangible roadmap for everyone who is isolated, at risk of exclusion and dealing with or has dealt with the effects of aforementioned difficulties. Let's navigate this bumpy road together and rebuild a bright future for you and your little ones!
​
Our Mission is clear: To stand by you and your children, providing the vital support needed during this challenging journey and resources that TTI can bring to a wider community - such as our time, expertise, cohesion and the development of skills that will change the outlook and outcome as well as network of professionals who have the right information from the start and have been instrumental in most recent cases at the Supreme Court; we at TTI, call it a "pit stop!"
​​​​
Did you know...
Despite nearly 2 in 4 couples facing separation and or divorce in the UK, that implies that as many as 90% of crime reports the police are burdened with from the relevant population pool are false, and made for the purposes of family court litigation.
MoJ Family Division reported that the prevalence of DA/DV allegations in family court is 62% of all private law cases and many lack the support they deserve. Further facts also show that 6 in 10 adults (64%) experienced a legal problem in the last four (4) years and 2/3 of the UK population do not know how to get legal advice.
Under the Conservative-led coalition government, the tendency to attribute blame to parents for young people’s anti-social behaviours continued (Bell, 2014). A series of riots, witnessed in England in early August 2011, saw widespread disturbances within London and other cities in the Midlands, the North West and elsewhere in the country.
In response, the Prime Minister, David Cameron, stated that pockets of society were not just “broken” but “sick”.
​
Pointing to an apparent breakdown in traditional family structures, typified through a lack of parental responsibility, Mr. Cameron, in September 2011, argued that the rioting was linked to selfishness, irresponsibility and “children without fathers”.
Continuing his denunciation, the Prime Minister emphasised the importance of the nuclear family by maintaining that the rioting offenders were “filled up with rage and anger” as it was now “normal” for some “young men to grow up without a male role model” and father figure.
A further report was published by the Centre for Social Justice (CJS), in June 2013, identified how families with ‘absent fathers’ are having ‘devastating effects’ on the life chances of children (CJS, 2013). Cristian Guy, director for the think-tank, contends that for some children growing up in the poorest parts of the UK, men are often absent in the home and classroom, and that these ‘men deserts’ are an ignored form deprivation, damaging to children’s social and mental development.
Such belief has renewed public discourse which favours more men in education, particularly in the primary sector, where it is argued that children are disadvantaged as a result of this lack of a male presence (Jones, 2007).
A central argument for the greater recruitment and participation of male teachers in the primary sector focuses on the educational benefits for children (Moss, 2000; Dee, 2007). Blount (1999) and Skelton (2003, p. 195) argue that efforts to increase the number of male teachers have been designed to ‘counteract the feminisation of primary schooling’.
As staff in the sector are predominantly female (Harris and Barnes, 2009), Griffiths (2006) describes how it is perceived that they will act in stereotypically feminine ways, and that their practice and delivery of the curriculum, teaching and management strategies, assessment regimes, and expectations will favour girls as opposed to boys.
​
Indeed, OFSTED (2008) has highlighted how many schools continue to promote learning activities and adopt teaching styles which are considered to be better suited to girls.
These quiet, verbal, artistic and passive activities have been found to alienate and ‘turn off’ boys (Biddulph, 1995), leading to disaffection toward schooling (Burn,7 - 2002; Swann, 2013), resulting in poor engagement, academic underachievement and behavioural difficulties.
The dominant view in the existing literature is that boy children growing up without their fathers are more likely to experience emotional and behavioural difficulties transitioning into adulthood. The current article aims to explore and investigate this view. It is important to note an emerging literature concerning young adolescent boys who grew up without father figures but who, despite this lack, embraced alternative aspects of adolescent masculinities that were non-risking, non-violent and non-sexist. ​​​​​
The Children's
Act (2004)
and
subsequent
"Every
Child
Matters"
Change for Children’ (2004) document heralded the beginning of a new approach, one that focussed on improving the well-being of children in a range of institutions, including schools. Although interest in social and emotional issues, at the time, was nothing new (Weare 2007), a spate of publications both nationally and internationally (see Palmer 2006; Alexander and Hargreaves 2007; Layard and Dunn 2009; UNICEF 2007; 2011) demonstrated concern pertaining to the social and emotional ill-health of children in the UK.
In response, a number of educational initiatives, including social and emotional learning (SEL) schemes, were introduced as a means of improving children’s SEB skills across England and Wales (DfES, 2005). These
curriculum-based resources, that utilise whole-school work such as classroom based lessons and assemblies; small group-work sessions for children deemed to require the extra social and emotional support; and intervention with individual children (Humphrey, Kalambouka, Bolton, Lendrum, Wigelsworth, Lennie and Farrel, 2008), were primarily aimed at developing all children’s social, emotional and behavioural skills by enhancing levels of emotional intelligence (Goleman, 1995).
With greater attention being given to social and emotional issues in education (Weare 2007), the roles and skills expected of school staff members shifted from one of ‘educator’ toward one of ‘educarer’ (Osgood, 2005), incorporating a renewed emphasis on pastoral support and care. Coinciding with this shift, came a propensity for UK governments to blame parents for children’s lack of social and emotional skills (Palmer, 2009; Bell, 2014), with specific condemnation being reserved for absent fathers, who were regularly held responsible for a range of society’s ills, including the anti-social behaviour of children (Cameron, 2011; Centre for Social Justice, 2013).
Indeed, the view that father absence has negative consequences for children's behaviour and social and emotional development has continued to receive empirical support in the UK (see Flouri, Narayan and Midouhas, 2015), with some (see Benyon, 2002; Jones, 2008) maintaining that schools should employ more men as a means of providing a ‘stable male role model’ or ‘replacement father’ (Skelton, 2002) to those children without a father home.
It is to these calls that this paper now turns, as understanding how male staff members interpret and use SEL is vital in determining not only how such men negotiate the expectations placed upon them and outlined above, but also how children’s social, emotional and behavioural skills are being targeted in schools, both of which have proved difficult to attain (see Cushman, 2005; Banerjee, 2010).
Lamb (2004) (1), outlines the benefits of high father engagement highlighting that high levels of father involvement result in (among others): better psychosocial adjustment in children and better mental health as adults; higher levels of cognitive and social competence; increased social responsibility, capacity for empathy, self-control, self-esteem, social maturity and life skills; more positive child–father and adolescent–father relationships; more prosocial sibling interactions; fewer school adjustment difficulties, better academic progress and enhanced occupational achievement in adulthood.
A safe place to land
Divorce and or separation touches every facet of our lives, reshaping family dynamics, impacting our children, and clouding our focus at work. Our core mission is to offer clarity amid this profound complexity.
We aim to bring stability back into your life and the lives of your children swiftly, guiding you through this transition.
Our focus is on providing a spectrum of resources and legal guidance, ensuring that amidst change, you find the support and direction needed to navigate this challenging phase and rebuild a stable, secure future for children.
Some of the topics we cover
We all understand the imperative of protecting children from severe parental abuse and or neglect, but how much do we really know? To illustrate we use examples / statements based on research and personas for ease of understanding.
Olivia Walker
The Professional Mother
Dan Mitchell
The Remote Working Father
.jpg)
Noah Patterson
The Academic Father
%20(2).jpg)
Tess Anderson
Stay at Home Mother
​​
-
Demographics: 44 years old, living in London, two children aged 7 and 9
-
Cultural Background: British & Chinese
-
Challenges: Balancing a demanding career in finance with the emotional and logistical challenges of separation. Concerned about the impact of the divorce on children's mental health and maintaining the standard of living.
Here's a graphical representation of Olivia, a character who embodies the resilience and complexities of a mother navigating through a challenging divorce while balancing her professional life in financial sector and her role as a parent. This image captures her mixed cultural background, professional yet comfortable attire, and an expression of hope and resilience amidst life's challenges, represented against a backdrop that blends elements of her work and home life.
​​
-
Demographics: 34 years old, living in Scotland, one child aged 6
-
Cultural Background: European
-
Challenges: Dealing with separation while working remotely for an oil company. Struggles with isolation, seeking mental health support, managing work-life balance, and ensuring quality time with his child.
Graphical representation of Dan, The Remote Worker Father, illustrating his journey of balancing remote work with active and hands-on fatherhood. His casual yet professional attire, suited for both video calls and home life, along with the home office background, reflects his commitment to his work and family, embracing the flexibility and challenges of remote work within a multicultural context.
​​
-
Demographics: 40 years old, living in Oxford, two children aged 7 and 12
-
Cultural Background: European & Vietnamese
-
Challenges: Juggling an academic career with the complexities of an international divorce. Concerned about parental alienation, maintaining a connection with his children from abroad and navigating the UK's family court legal system.
​Graphical representation of Noah, The Academic Father, illustrating his thoughtful and caring nature as he navigates the blend of academic excellence and single parenthood. His attire and the intellectual environment around him reflect his dedication to knowledge, teaching, and his child's upbringing.
​
​​
-
Demographics: 32 years old, living in London, one child aged of 4
-
Cultural Background: British & Caribbean
-
Challenges and Financial Status: Living on government benefits in the UK, facing financial hardship. Tess is focused on improving her and her daughter's lives through evening education and employment opportunities
-
Personality Traits: Determined, resilient and hopeful despite facing challenges
-
Lifestyle: Practical and modest, reflecting her day to day responsibilities as a caring mother and an aspiring professional. She volunteers at a local Charity shop on the weekend
​Graphical representation of Tess - The Mother on Benefits is mixed ethnic origin, which she embraces and considers an important part of her and her daughters identity. Tess is deeply committed to providing the best possible life for her daughter despite financial constraints. Tess is determined to improve her circumstances through education and employment opportunities while maintaining a loving and stable environment for her child. Tess's expression is one of determination, resilience, and hope, reflecting her strength and optimism in the face of challenges. Her attire is practical and modest, suitable for her day-to-day responsibilities as a caring mother and an aspiring professional.
​
​
Mental Health
Divorce and or separation can have profound effects on mental health due to the emotional toll and life changes it brings:
Understanding that separation often brings emotional upheaval and seeking help when needed is crucial for maintaining mental well-being during and after the process. Therapy, self-care practices, and seeking social support can significantly aid in coping with the emotional toll of separation.
Financial Difficulties
Separation can lead to various financial difficulties for both parties involved due to several reasons:
Navigating the financial aftermath of separation can be challenging. Seeking financial advice, creating a budget, and planning for the future are crucial steps to mitigate the impact and ensure financial stability post-divorce.
Impact on Children
Divorce and or separation between parents can have various impacts on children, both emotionally and psychologically. Here are some common effects:
It's crucial for parents to provide emotional support, maintain routine, and reassure children of their love and care during this challenging time. Professional counselling or therapy can also help children navigate their emotions and adapt to the changes brought about by divorce.
Legal Difficulties
During a divorce and or separation, several legal complexities and difficulties can arise, depending on the circumstances and the nature of the separation. Some common legal challenges include:
Navigating these legal difficulties during a divorce and or separation often requires legal representation, mediation, and sometimes, court intervention. Having a skilled attorney and maintaining clear communication can help streamline the process and resolve disputes more effectively.
Impact on Work
Divorce and forced separation from children can significantly impact people in the workplace, affecting their productivity, focus, and emotional well-being. Here are some ways it might manifest:
Employers and colleagues who are aware of an employee's situation can offer support, understanding, and flexibility to help them navigate through the challenges of divorce while maintaining a productive work environment. Access to counselling services, support groups, or employee assistance programs (EAPs) can significantly aid individuals dealing with divorce-related stress in the workplace.
Parental Alienation
Parental alienation occurs when one parent, intentionally or unintentionally, manipulates or influences a child to reject, fear, or harbour hostility toward the other parent during or after a divorce or separation. This behaviour can stem from various reasons, including unresolved conflicts, resentment, or emotional distress between the parents.
Parental alienation can be emotionally distressing for both the targeted parent and the child. Recognizing the signs early and seeking appropriate interventions, such as counselling or legal support, can help mitigate the effects and rebuild healthy relationships within the family.
