Boys Need Dads

Every step we take, every choice we make, our sons are right behind us, learning what it means to be a man. They are following the path we set, even when we dont realize it.

It seems like nearly every week we hear some new statistic about how marriage and family formation are in historic decline in the United Kingdom and around the world and there is now a greater share of single adults with no children than there are married adults with children. 

Undergirding these trends are patterns of reluctant adulthood among many young people. In fact, there is mounting evidence that fewer teens are entering their 20-something years feeling prepared to assume the responsibilities and commitments of adulthood. With a longer marriage horizon stretching out before them, many young people and their parents are framing young adulthood as a sort of “extended adolescence” in the modern life course. 

Experts are finding that parents today often shield their children from the responsibilities of young adulthood for much longer than previous generations.

Consequently, many of today’s young adults are less willing or able to take on responsibilities that are characteristic of their age and necessary for building a family. 

Research based on observations of mothers’ and fathers’ different psychological dispositions and behaviors in parenting has consistently found that both mothers and fathers influence multiple aspects of child development, but they do so through different processes.

These studies show that fathers tend to be particularly attuned to developing children’s physical, emotional, and intellectual independence—in everything from children making their own lunches and tying their own shoes to doing household chores and making decisions for themselves after they have left home. Fathers are also more likely than mothers to encourage children to take risks, while also ensuring safety and security, thus helping children develop confidence, navigate new transitions, and bravely confront unfamiliar situations.

It is exactly this fostering of independence that is needed in greater supply among the rising generation.

The benefits of loving and involved fathers go far beyond simply fostering independence. Research shows that fathers are much more than just a “second parent” in a child’s life. 

Involved fathers can bring numerous benefits to their children’s lives that no other person is as likely to bring. Too often society minimise the virtues and strengths of fathers and the unique role they can play in their children’s lives, despite the significant and growing body of research that shows otherwise. 

For example, in an article in Marriage and Family Review, professor William Jeynes reported a meta-analysis of 34 studies with more than 37,000 participants that found statistically-significant effects highlighting the unique role of fathers in child rearing.

Fathering had a statistically significant connection to a number of outcomes, including psychological well-being, emotional resilience, improved social relationships, and higher academic achievement. This was true for both boys and girls of different ages. 

On TTI's reading material page we suggested Attachment - Bowbly's 4 stages where attachment styles can impact relationship dynamics and continuous research consistently shows that an engaged father or father figure positively shapes boys’ cognitive and psychological development. Boys with involved fathers tend to achieve higher academically, show stronger cognitive skills, and enjoy better mental health.

For example, one review found that most studies report a significant positive association between father and children's cognitive skills development .

Father engagement also builds self-esteem and a secure identity: children with caring fathers report higher self-confidence and emotional security​

In contrast, boys growing up without a supportive father figure face greater risks of psychological problems. Longitudinal research links father absence to poorer mental health: boys without fathers at home are more likely to suffer depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Fatherless boys are also worse in schooling and adulthood – for instance, children separated from their fathers have lower high-school graduation rates and worse adult mental health outcomes​.

Father figures play a key role in boys’ emotional growth and regulation. Involved fathers help boys develop healthy emotion regulation, resilience, and security. For instance, systematic reviews find that higher father involvement is associated with more adaptive emotion-regulation skills in young children​. Playful, affectionate interactions with dads teach boys how to manage feelings; children with attentive fathers report feeling more emotionally secure and better able to control impulses​.

Authoritative fathering (warmth plus clear boundaries) in particular leads to better emotional outcomes: children with such fathers show higher self-control and confidence​.

A father figure also profoundly shapes a boy’s social skills, behavior, and long-term life trajectory. Boys with involved fathers generally have better peer relationships, social competence, and discipline. Research finds that active fathering is linked to fewer behavior problems and greater sociability: one report notes that high father involvement “correlate's with higher levels of sociability, confidence, and self-control in children”​. These boys are less likely to act out in school or engage in risky behavior.

In contrast, father absence is strongly associated with negative social outcomes: children of absent fathers show more aggression, delinquency and antisocial behavior​.

Some of the key facts why fathers do matter:

1. Identity Formation: Boys often model their behavior and values after father figures. A positive father figure helps boys form a strong, healthy sense of self and masculinity.

2. Emotional Development: Involved father figures help boys better understand and express emotions. Boys with present fathers are less likely to suppress feelings and more likely to develop emotional intelligence.

3. Academic Success: Studies show that boys with engaged fathers or male role models perform better academically, have higher IQ scores, and are more likely to graduate high school.

4. Confidence and Self-Esteem: Boys with supportive father figures tend to have higher self-esteem and more confidence in social settings.

5. Behavior and Discipline: An involved father figure provides boundaries and discipline in a way that promotes self-control. Boys are less likely to engage in risky or aggressive behaviors when a strong male role model is present.

6. Social Skills: Boys with father figures typically develop stronger social skills, including empathy, cooperation, and conflict resolution.

7. Risk of Negative Outcomes Without One: Boys who grow up without a consistent, positive father figure are statistically at higher risk for issues like substance abuse, criminal activity, mental health struggles, and difficulty forming healthy relationships.

8. Teaches Respect: A positive male role model often shows boys how to respect themselves and others, especially women, authority figures, and peers.

9. Career Ambitions: Father figures often inspire boys to set goals, work hard, and persist through challenges — traits that support later career success.

10. Teaches Responsibility Through Example: A strong father figure models personal responsibility — showing boys the importance of hard work, keeping promises, owning mistakes, and contributing to the family and community.

Conclusion

In sum, a positive father figure is crucial for a boy’s healthy development. Too many young men are isolated, too many feel uncomfortable opening up to friends or family, many don't have mentors, teachers, coaches, bosses - who understand how best to push them to grow.

And so, when they struggle, young men inevitably try to handle whatever situation they find themselves in, alone!

Simply put, dads matter!

A wealth of research shows that boys with caring, involved fathers enjoy better psychological and emotional well-being and achieve superior social and academic outcomes. Renewing and deepening our appreciation of the value of fatherhood in our society will bear much meaningful fruit.