Flying Monkeys

The phrase “flying monkeys” originates from L. Frank Baum’s The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (1900), and its 1939 film adaptation. In the story, the Wicked Witch of the West uses a magical golden cap to summon a horde of terrifying, winged monkeys to do her bidding.

These monkeys don’t act of their own volition; they are bound by the cap’s magic and compelled to serve whoever controls it.

In psychological terms, this allegory fits perfectly into the dynamics of narcissistic abuse.

A narcissist, like the witch, does not always attack a victim directly. Instead, they manipulate others—often friends, family members, or coworkers—into doing their dirty work. These manipulated enablers become the narcissist’s "flying monkeys."

Before understanding the role of flying monkeys, it’s important to grasp the basics of narcissistic personality disorder.

NPD is a mental health condition characterized by:

• An inflated sense of self-importance

• A deep need for excessive admiration

• A lack of empathy for others

• A tendency to exploit relationships

Narcissists view the world through a lens of superiority and entitlement. Let that sink in!

When challenged, criticized, or exposed, they may go to great lengths to protect their self-image, often engaging in tactics such as gaslighting, projection, triangulation, and, notably, recruiting flying monkeys.

“Flying monkeys” aren’t always malicious. Some are unwitting accomplices, while others may be covert narcissists themselves.

They can take several forms:

1. The Naïve Helper: These individuals believe they are supporting someone in need. The narcissist portrays themselves as a victim and spins a false narrative that manipulates others into siding with them.

2. The Loyalist: This person has a close bond with the narcissist—perhaps a long-time friend, sibling, or partner—and will defend them no matter what, often dismissing the victim’s experiences as overreactions.

3. The Secondary Abuser: More dangerously, some flying monkeys actively enjoy the power dynamics involved. They may be willing participants who engage in gossip, smear campaigns, or even cyberbullying.

4. The Enforcer: These flying monkeys apply pressure, guilt, or intimidation to convince the victim to apologize, stay silent, or return to the abusive relationship.

There are several psychological mechanisms behind why people become flying monkeys:

• Manipulation: Narcissists are often charming and convincing. They tell a curated version of events that paints them as the victim.

• Fear of the Narcissist: Some individuals comply out of fear of becoming the next target of abuse.

• Shared Delusions: In toxic environments, such as dysfunctional families or workplaces, groupthink and loyalty to the abuser can override empathy.

• Validation and Inclusion: The narcissist may flatter or reward flying monkeys with attention, creating a sense of belonging.

Understanding this psychological phenomenon requires familiarity with several key terms:

• Gaslighting: A manipulation tactic that causes victims to question their own reality or memory.

• Triangulation: A tactic where the narcissist brings a third party into a conflict to control the narrative or isolate the victim.

• Smear Campaign: The narcissist discredits the victim behind their back, often to flying monkeys, to make the victim seem unstable or malicious.

• Hoovering: Named after the vacuum cleaner, this tactic involves the narcissist trying to “suck” the victim back into the relationship after a period of separation.

• Gray Rock Method: A technique used by victims to reduce their emotional response to the narcissist, becoming as uninteresting as a “gray rock” to discourage further interaction.

If you suspect you’re being targeted through flying monkeys, look for signs like:

• Sudden shifts in how mutual friends treat you

• Repeated pressure to forgive or "just move on"

• People echoing the narcissist’s exact language or accusations

• Subtle threats, guilt trips, or invasions of privacy

Should you feel you can recognise signs as aforementioned, do drop us a line for a one to one master session where we can help you with effective strategies to protect yourself.